W 9-30-98 4:18 pm
Today is Yom Kippur.  For what should I be atoning?  The mess on my desk?  Sex out of wedlock?  Have I borne false witness?  I don't think so.  I think telling the truth is my main sin.  I don't think I've stolen anything this year.  I'm just an all-around great guy.  I got up about nine this morning.  Paper, xword, Jumble, Tribe-8/Sox-5, ATL-7/CHI-2, NTN, 15 minutes.  Cooked up some garlic-and-cheese-stuffed ravioli.  When I opened the Ragu, mold speckled the underside of the lid and the mouth of the jar.  The sauce in the bottom didn't look bad, but I tossed it.  Instead I mixed in some olive oil and parmesan with pepper and herbs.  Tasted good to me.  I did a cursory review of chemistry terms.  Covalence is an electrical bond between equal numbers of protons and electrons in the atoms of a molecule.  I read a few more pages of The Sportswriter.  That trippy bitch Vicky hit Frank in the face.  I took a shower.  I've got "Homework Hotline" on the TV.  I've only got a towel around my waist.  No one here but dick and me.  I need to atone for sloth and gluttony.  Or maybe not, since they're only deadly sins and not broken commandments.  Next thing after this, I have to get a load going and clear up my desk.  Too bad I'm feuding with Shirelle, I need some transportational assistance.  I should walk, but I don't want to be away from my studies that long.  What else?  The Yanks are coming on now.  Pettite vs. Helling.  Two hours 'til Jeopardy.  Two weeks 'til Jeopardy.  Yanks are giving that rook Shane Spencer a start.  Achromatic-an optical system that will transmit light without breaking it down into its component colors.  Acoustics is the study of sound waves.  Adiabetic pertains to any activity in which heat is not lost or gained.  The anode is the positive terminal of an electrical current.  Electrons flow from the cathode to the anode.  So then the cathode is the negative terminal in an electrical current from which, in a vacuum, a filament emits electrons.  The negative node emits?  That doesn't seem right.   Niels Bohr was the physicist who, in 1913, proposed the atomic model with positive nucleus surrounded by negative electrons.       Jeter's on.  Bernie's up.  Boyle's Law tells us that the pressure of a gas times its volume remains constant at fixed temperatures.  Bernie flew out.  Convection is the movement of heat from high temps to low, tending toward equalization.  That trips me out.  Equalization here is relative.  Phenom just homered on cue.  My mom just called with some mildly irksome study tips.  Coulomb's Law is a nutcracker in more ways than one.  It says that attraction or repulsion is proportional to the product of the charges and inversely so to the square of the distance between them.  How'd he figure that out?  The ability to perform work is called this.  What is energy?  The influence on a body which causes it to accelerate is this.  What is force?  F=ma

Tues. 9-29-98 1:45 PM
I'm at school again.  Battling with the kids to write some intelligent answers to questions about rivers.  I'm done with the paper.  I couldn't help but eat three pieces of pizza for lunch.  The principal came in for about ten seconds.  I was sitting at my desk doing nothing.  The kids were working in their phonics books.  "I wanted to come for a visit, but they just paged me.  Are they having free time?"
I got up.  "No," I said.  "They're working in their phonics books."  I managed not to stammer.  I should have said, "They're working with partners on a teacher-directed lesson which I will be reviewing with them after they've had ten minutes to work with their partners."  She left.  She probably thinks I just throw them coloring books and sit at my desk and do nothing.  I wonder if Boston won.  I wonder how Houston is doing.  I should be able to see the end of that game and the beginning of the Yanks/Ranger game before I have to walk to work.  Haven't typed today.  Haven't done third person in weeks.  Read only a few pages of Sportswriter.  When I'm home, I study all I can.  It's the last week now.  I've got to cram.  I need to learn the British monarchy, review Shakespeare, state and world capitals.  I need to WIN!  Ugh.  What else?  If I didn't work so godam all the time, I could study more.  I have to tape "Jeopardy" tonight.  What else?  I could go for a beer.  No school tomorrow.  Too bad I have to work tonight.  When's the next payday?  Two weeks from Friday.  Ugh.  What else?  I'll be reading Trivial Pursuit cards on the way home.  I almost have the whole box memorized.  [pencil-drawn bust of Abe Lincoln hidden flask]
1:48 Ugh.  Shirelle just left.  She said she was going to take a whole bottle of sleeping pills.  Tomorrow I must definitely get some exercise [a pencil sketch of my mother as a young girl in a ballerina's outfit, from a black and white photograph].

Mon 9-28-98 12:57 PM
I'm in my class.  I walked up to Seven Eleven at lunch and bought fifty-four stamps.  I went to fucking Burger King, too, because it was there.  After school, the usual:  History Channel, jazz, NTN.  I should really do a third-person page.  I can maybe watch the first inning of the Cub/Giant playoff game before I have to leave for Pio Pico.  I'd like to see how long I can get by without a car.  I haven't been drawing much lately.  There is no school Wednesday.  Hoo-hoo.  What else?  I'm wearing a black shirt and a Jerry Garcia tie.  The dark blue color on my mood watch indicates "Happy/Love."  Yeah, right.  Walking through the halls, I keep passing people who ask, "You goin' Friday?" and they lift invisible cocktails to their lips.  A happy hour gig is planned to celebrate classified staff payday.  I'm about to quiz my kids on the Grand Canyon.  It's all about questions and answers.  So much about life is asking the right questions and knowing the right answers to other people's questions.  That's a big reduction, but it's nearly true  [A no-look drawing in red ink of McGwire delivering his 69th homerun] .  I can read Trivial Pursuit cards on the walk to work tonight or The Sportswriter.  What else?  My At Ease programs have vanished.  Along with my Norton Utilities.  That pisses me off.  I have to get that camera, but when?  Wednesday, I guess.  I have to walk to LACAS after school tonight to pick up my paper work.  I saw that gal Adrian in a commercial last night. 
Yikes!  It's 2:30!  I thought it was 1:30.  I had to get the kids ready to go home real fast.  If one of the kids' sisters hadn't shown up, we might have been here until 3:30.  I wish I could think of something good to write.  What's the best film for night time?  What's the best for high-speed action shots?  I wish I had time for photography.  I hope I can win at least two or three nights of "Jeopardy!"

Sun 6:20 p 9-27
"How Green Was My Valley" is on tv.  I'm reading Jeremiah and tripping on the idea of prophesy.  How to organize my questions and ideas?  How does one know if the Lord really spoke through Jeremiah?  How did Jeremiah know?  How does one know a prophet from a false prophet?  Don't all of your thoughts come from God?  How would you know if God was talking to you?
9:48  Online now waiting to play Wipeout in the name of Jeopardy practice.  Shirelle came and we went to the market to get stuff to make ground-turkey tacos for supper.  She went home after we ate.  An Ernest Hemingway biography is on A&E right now.  More inspiration, like Picasso, that I won't act on.  What else?   I changed the fuel filter on the Chrysler this afternoon, but it's still all fucked up.  Looks like it needs a new head gasket.  I just came in a lackluster seventh out of sixty-five on the National Trivia Network.  What else?  I still haven't picked up my camera yet, nor paid my bills, nor done my laundry, nor cleared my desk.  I still have to do the dishes, and I haven't read any of The Sportswriter for a while.  Hemingway shot the toilet.  I need to get stamps tomorrow.  Didn't get any exercise today.  I hear there's no school Wednesday night.  John Dean was the first to directly indict Nixon.  Told about "hush money."  My writing sure is dull.  What else?  I need to take my vitamin today still.  It's hard to write and play the game and watch the bio all at once.  What else?  I put the new light bulbs in the kitchen fixtures.  Andrew Johnson was impeached, so it says, for trying to fire Ed Stanton, the Secretary of War, in violation of the Office of Tenure Act.  He was found Not Guilty by the senate, one vote shy of the two-thirds majority necessary. 

Close to Greatness

W 8:05 AM 9-23-98
Today is the first day of autumn.  Makes you want to write a haiku, or maybe a cinquain.  But I've been studying for my game show to the exclusion of all artistic impulses.  I didn't write a word yesterday (Well, I wrote my lesson play for the week, and I wrote lessons on the chalkboard).  I wanted to write in my journal at lunch, but I'd forgotten it at home.  After school, I just studied.  I didn't feel like typing, not even for fifteen minutes.  I walked to Wilshire Hill, reading Trivial Pursuit cards, and I walked a mile and a half down Pico reading cards the whole way.  Ted Roosevelt was the youngest president.  Lincoln the tallest.  The Plaka is an old section of Athens.  Lacrosse is the national sport of Canada.  John Ford won the most Best Director Oscars with four.  Agathie Christie has had more books brought to the screen than any other writer with eighteen.  Edward Teller is known as the Father of the H-Bomb.
I couldn't go to my doctor's appointment yesterday because my car has got some new fuckup that I'm not even sure how to begin to unfuckup.     I have to take care of some clerical crap at recess today.  Try to get some books I need, drop off some papers to the office, make some copies.  Ugh.  At lunch, I've got to try to skip lunch.  Study my desk reference.  I've got to clean my desk.  I've got to go to LA High after school.  I have to write checks for my bills TODAY and put them in the mail.     A lot of crapola.     What else?     I saw a man on the street with a toothpick behind his ear.  What else? / 10:17 AM  I went down to Ms. Lubert's office to try to get the books I need, but she's not here today.  I did get the library time that I like, though.  Friday morning at 9:10.
9-24-98 Th 11:45 AM
I'm at the Mediterranean place on La Brea.  I ordered a schwarma plate.  It's a gloomy-looking day.  The fall is upon us.  If I win on Jeopardy, maybe I can join the Paolina Boxing Club.  I need to win a few nights.      I didn't have any breakfast this morning.  Man, am I dull.  I'm wearing the Spiderman tie Thing gave me.  There are nineteen mammalian orders.
9-26-98 Sa 7:02 AM
No Jeopardy tonight because they're showing college football, so I'm watching a History Channel documentary about the Roman Empire while I wait for Shirelle.  I have to go with her to her girlfriend's birthday party in Torrance.  Demona's mom owns a Greek restaurant there.  Carlin's having a catered party downstairs.  We saw the Picasso show at LACMA today.  It was crowded and we kind of rushed through it, but I was still inspired for a little while.  Shirelle's all fucked in the head like she gets for these social things like it's the prom or something.  And now she's getting high, so she'll probably get even more boorishly irritating.  Gagarin and Weena are coming to pick us up.  I felt close to greatness at Picasso.  Whatever.

That's What I Should Have Barbara Eden Do For Me

Sun 9-20-98 8:15 AM
I'm at Brea Golf Course.  I'm waiting to play nine with my stepfather.  I just hit a bucket on the range, and if it's any indication of how my game will go, I should have just stayed home.      I finally remembered what I thought was so funny.  I was thinking of how George Mallory's reason for climbing Everest is the same as mine for going to Jack in the Box:  "Because it's there."
Shirelle and I drove down to a Japanese restaurant in Huntington Beach called Tsunami to celebrate Stevo's birthday.  It was crowded, and we had to wait a long time for a table and Shirelle got crabby.
The Angels won.  We read Trivial Pursuit cards.  This Asian dude, Ray, said something like, "j, I was so surprised to hear a guy like you is going on a game like "Jeopardy!" when a guy like me is so clearly superior."  I don't know that he was kidding.  I said, "Ray, if you give it a little thought, you'll find the fallacy in your statement, and it will all become obvious to you."  Nerd fight.  We read cards.  He did know his shit.
8:01 PM M 9-21-98
Lying on the couch watching the Angels choke away another pennant run.  The GIP asks, "If you had Barbara Eden at your disposal, what would you do?"
"Violate her every orifice.  Keep her locked up," I answer.  "I mean, that's the correct answer, isn't it, hypothetically speaking?"  I'm probably just kidding.  The GIP seems satisfied.  Whatever.  I was supposed to do laundry today, but I still haven't.  That's what I should have Barbara Eden do for me.  I was supposed to send out my bills, and I haven't done that yet, either.  I ordered a pizza, though.  Ate seven slices dipped in fredo sauce, and a half dozen spicy wings.  I also ate two peanut butter and jellies for lunch and a bagel with cream cheese for breakfast.  I have to eat sparingly the rest of the week.  I should have gotten milk at the market today.  I got coffee, bread, and a newspaper.  Something new is wrong with my car.  I'm not sure what.  Maybe the fuel injectors need cleaning or maybe it needs a new fuel filter or spark plugs.  Every time I fix something, it takes less than a week for something else to go wrong.  I haven't gotten any exercise the last three days.  What else?  I played quite a few National Trivia Network games today.  What else?  I've pretty much abandoned Jim 'til after "Jeopardy!"  Ugh.  What else?  The Angels suck.  What else?  I'm fat.  What else?  I'm not as fat as the GIP.  My stepmother wrote me a letter.  GIP says, "What'd I do to deserve this?  I didn't do anything to deserve this."  He could be talking about anything.  What else?  I typed fifteen minutes today.  Read some Bible.  Sportswriter.  Back to work tomorrow.

I Don't Think Any Brains Leaked Out

9-17-98 Th 2:05 PM
I'm at school.  The students are doing their social studies chapter review.  We go home in about a half hour.  I'll do the usual drill.  Study, read, and write followed by a healthy dose of who knows?  Maybe I'll take a nap.  Slammin' Sammy Sosa and the Cubs are playing a big game in San Diego that'll be on tv when I get home.      Had T-Bell for lunch.  Met with Holzt.  I'm going to be getting a kid who was shot in the head when he was a toddler.  Baffling fucking world we live in.  Someone somewhere shot up into the sky and the bullet came down on Ricky's head.  I'll be getting another kid for an hour each week who was born with no arms.  He writes with his feet.
9-18-98 F 6:36 PM
The sun's shining in my face, but it will be gone in a minute or two.  I smacked my head on the driveway playing basketball.  It made a scary thud and bled for a while, but I don't think any brains leaked out.  Got a little headache now, but maybe that's from drinking beer this afternoon.  No one wanted to finish the basketball game after that.  I should do a load of laundry when I'm done with this.  I LOST on Jeopardy AGAIN tonight.  I need to find out exactly how that buzzer works.  San Hosebag, Getoff Walters, Truman and Ilsa Passage, the GIP, and possibly Kayo, and Raquel Blackhart are coming here tonight.  I guess we'll go to Santa Monica or Miyagi's or maybe both.  The Cubs lost today.  The Angels are tied.  The Redsox were losing.  A kid said something funny today.  What was it?  I'll never remember.  Played two Brain Busters and two Old Testaments today.  Spoke briefly with Katie Howrad.  What else?  Tomorrow I might go out to Lake Elsinore to watch Stevo skydive.  I ate a microwave veggie patty on grilled bread with garlic and seasoning and cream cheese and sprouts and two zuchinni and some artificial bacon bits.  I was happy with it.  I need some Tylenol or a Vicodin.  Yeah.  I wonder if I should make a pot of coffee.  What else?  My mom called during Jeopardy.  She wanted to know how I did in the opera category--I wish I  could remember what that kid said that made me laugh.  The other day I remembered something that I was trying to remember but had forgotten a couple days earlier, but now I can't remember what it was anymore.  Something between Seven Eleven and Jack in the Box--I haven't done a third-person page in weeks.  After Jeopardy, I have to write LOTS.  I hope I can win a night or two.  Or more.  I've got to move my car back into the backyard.  I'm still a little hungry.  Maybe I'll have some watermelon.  What else?  Maybe we'll play some pool tonight.  We'll see what happens.