M 6-21-99 1:45 PM
First day of summer.  Had a busy weekend.  Haven't written here since last Thursday.  Spent the weekend at my mother's house in Placentia.  My youngest sibling graduated from high school.  Mardi, that is.  We went to Rockin' Taco that night.  It was obnoxious.  Saturday, my mom made bacon and eggs.  Shirelle and I went up to Brea and saw the Disney version of "Tarzan."  I enjoyed it.  We went to Book Star and got a travel book for the Bahamas and one for Mardi for Puerta Vallarta.  We went to TGIFridays to eat.  Bernie, Shrill and I went to a place called Diamonds after that for a few beers. We had to forfeit our game Sunday because the Urquidi brothers didn't show up to play the outfield.  Then my mom had a party at her house for Mardi's graduation.  I'm glossing over everything.  Whatever.  I filled out  the awards certificates for my kids.  I have to make sure and send notices home for their parents.  I took my homework to Wilton Place.  Florelle came with me.  She told of titty bar adventures in Tijuana with her gay friend, Jo Jo while her father-in-law was dying. I have to go to the doctor today to have the rash on my back checked out.  I  called to have my prescription filled. Got to go back to night school tonight.  Haven't read any Idiot now for a few days.  I did read the newspaper this morning.  What else?  I ate Carl's Jr. today.  I feel disgustedly stuffed.  The dermatologist is going to see a pudgy, doughy, pale torso with red splotches all over it.  What else?  I haven't smoked for a long time.  I'd like to today.  This is the last week of school.  Hip hip hooray.  I'll have to do fifteen minutes when I get home tonight.  I'll have to get my prescription tomorrow.  I'll have to ride over to Larchmont.

Th 6-17-99 1:47 PM
I'm a little behind again today.  I only now finished the paper.  I did a lesson on bravery this morning.  Then I had to go to the Indvidualized Education Plan meeting this morning for one of my students who feigns muteness with astonishing relentlessness.  I ate a nasty burger at Jack in the Box.  I stayed in at lunch to read the paper.  The kids were rude at music.  I was going to give them some free time today, but now I'm not.  I wish I would have finished this earlier, then we could be out playing softball right now.  I didn't get going early enough to type this morning.  I'll have to do it when I get home today.  I read quite a few pages of Idiot last night, including an interesting discussion of the instinct of self-preservation vs. that of self-destruction.  I brought Jim up to page seventy-three last night, and I've left a little in the well for today.  It's Mr. Zattan's birthday today.  Some people are going up to Miyagi's tonight.  I think I'll go.  I'd like to take off night school.  Hmm.  I've got to call the doctor when I get home.  And my brother.  And Peach.  And Mariachi.  I mailed in my summer job application.  I mailed my Father's Day card.  I have to send home award notices.  I have to sign up for the BCLAD.  Ugh.  I have to do my homework.  Mardi's graduation party is tomorrow night.  We may spend the night out there and then fish Saturday.   Looks like we've got a doubleheader on Sunday, and then there's a party for Karen's graduation on Sunday night.  Is it photo time?  Will Shirelle let me go to Miyagi's alone?  The Idiot discussed Russian cannibalism.  One of my old students is visiting.  What else?  Cal State Fullerton was eliminated from the College World Series.  It's sunny and warm today.  What if I call in sick?  My former student is painting with water colors.  Wouldn't it be nice to try for Miss Mulroney tonight?  I can dream, can't I?

6-16-99 W 1:02 PM
I got a nee TA today, so I had to actually teach today instead of reading the newspaper exclusively(Just kidding, kind of), so I only just now finished reading the paper.  We're reading from our science books now.  "Rain in the Desert."  A cool breeze blows.  The sky is blue.  The sun is sunny.  After this we'll watch a little "Mary Poppins" and then play some softball.  Plus I've got some Idiot to read.  I've got to fill out that STEPS test-scoring job application for this summer at UCLA.  I have to get the BCLAD info.  I have to get Father's Day cards.  What else?  I had a bagel for breakfast.  I ate Taco Bell at lunch.  2:30  School's over now.  The kids were shitty and stupid again today.  What else?  The College World Series will be on when I get home.  I wrote a third-person page of Jim and Aaron in Kmart which may be suitable for page 73.  The NBA Finals start tonight.  The Lakers hired Phil Jackson.  Tarzan the Disney version starts today.  [black ink line drawing of Disney's Tarzan wielding a spear]  What else?  I have to go to work tonight.  Natch.  I could go for a margarita/  I painted a water color of that crazy tree on Hudson.  It came out okay.  I had trouble with the colors, natch.  And kind of botched the curve of the tree.  What else?  I have to close all the windows before I go home.  What else?  Nouakchott is the capital of Mauritania.  What else?  Since I can't write today, should I put another photograph in here?  Ok.  Here's a picture from a laying in a chaise lounge poolside at the Riviera in Las Vegas, NV in February 1999. [aforementioned photo]

6-15-99 10:02 AM Tu
Not much I can think of.  Michelle and Jessica stayed in to do their phonics books.  They're timid girls who don't like to play with the other kids, most of whom are too aggressive.  Shirelle's still in a bitch state.  I don't care.  What else?  I rode my bike to school.  So far, it's cooler today than I expected.  I went to he Royal Mart on the corner and got a newspaper and paid for the one they loaned me yesterday.  Last night, Benigno gave me a model Mercedes and a note that I was "someone very so special."  I'm beginning to think he's queer for me.  Ugh.  Whatever.  Byron brought me a sandwich.  I wish they would cut out the gifts.  So anyway I finished reading the newspaper today.  The Russians in Kosovo are tripping people out.  I typed for fifteen minutes before school this morning.  I ate half of the sandwich Byron gave me, and I drank some orange juice with a vitamin and two allergy pills and a two-day-old mug of cold coffee.  Next I'll read some Idiot.  When I get home, I have to do a third person reflecting my character's beliefs, values, and personality.  Cal State Fullerton takes on Florida State in an elimination game at the College World Series.  Then off to night school again, by bike, and I have to get Jim and Aaron into K-Mart, I guess.  The bell has rung.  Recess is over.  It's time to correct the math homework.  We made it all the way around the room without a single botching of an answer to a multiplication problem.  I have to finish my homework by like Thursday.  What else?  There's a faculty meeting after school today.  Should I ride home for peanut butter and jelly at lunch?  Or should I take a nap next door?  Or should I go for cake at the baby shower in the teacher's lounge?  [photo of me on a dirt bike at Jawbone in the Mojave]

10:59 AM M 6-14-99
I feel miserable today.  I'm sore and scraped and sunburned after our fourteen-inning loss yesterday, and I got a cold or allergies that have my eyes dry as the Mojave and my nose flowing like the Mississippi.  I think I sprained my left shoulder.  We're out of Kleenex.  It's hot today.  I've got to get lunch for Horowicz today.  I'm sure I'll be a thoroughly disgusting lunch companion.  I've got to buy books and chalk at LACAS today.  Tom Waits is at the Wiltern tonight.  Wish I could go.  I read chapter nine of John this morning.  It had the story of the adulterous woman and one of my favorite lines:  "Let he who is without sin cast the first stone."  I have read six more chapters when I get home.  I've got to read some more Idiot today.  I dreamed all night that we were still playing that miserable baseball game.  Goldcastle came over to drink beer and watch tv.  I called Kronos.  I called the Bahamas.  I've got a confirmation number.  They're going to FedEx the airfare.  I asked how the weather would be.  She said, "Well, that's peak hurricane season."  I've got some clerical work on my desk here to do.  A book inventory.  I have to decide which of these kids have earned end-of-the-year awards.  I honestly can't think of who deserves an award in this class.  What else?  It's almost lunch time.  [cartoonish pencil sketches of how I imagine Rogozhin and Myshkin look]

An Einsteinian Rule of Physics

7:26 PM Sa 6-12-99
Six O Five northbound from the Balls'.  We played quarters like in the carefree days.  Someone brought some creamer cartridges of nitrous.  They didn't work but to remind me of Newport Beach and invincible carelessness.  Shirelle's driving.  The sun still looks an hour from going down.  Guess I'll do a third person when I get home, and then I'll call Jeff Seedyo.  There was just a white cockatoo not quite maintaining the speed limit in the lane next to us.  I wish I had my camera today.  Oops.  We got on the wrong freeway.  We're lost.  We had to pull over so I could piss.  I pissed on a tree like a dog.  There was no one on the block when I started, but it's like an Einsteinian rule of physics, the less appropriate the piss, the longer it lasts.  A group of Japanese queers walked by.  We were in Little Tokyo.  It wasn't enough that they walked by;  They had to keep looking back at my dick.

Vilolence

6-11-99 F 11:20 AM
It's almost time for lunch.  I already ate at Taco Hell this morning.  I told Eileen I would buy her lunch for helping me with those STEPS tests.  Should I do it today or next week?  Whatever.  Last night when I got home from night school, May and Andy were visiting Shirelle.  They started talking about arming themselves for millennial madness.  They're stupidity was alarming and sickening.  They expect violence.  They believe in violence.  They're so dumb.  How can I explain my feeling?  They think they need to prepare for some violent event, but it's only their hysteria which would bring about this event.  If they would remain rational and be smart and good, then goodness will come.  If you fill your life with guns and expectations of violence, then that is what you are paving the way for.  Now I'm at the donut shop having an apple fritter and a Starbucks vanilla Frappuccino.  On a New York, New York Hotel and Casino billboard, a lascivious Lady Liberty leers at me alongside another billboard of an enraptured woman in a waterfall advertising Maui for Hawaiian Airlines.  I forgot to call the Bahamas this morning.  One beer and one bongload last night ruined me.  Below the billboards is a car upholstery place with faux zebra, cow, and leopard skins stretched on a line like at some safari camp.  When I'm done with this, I'll read more Idiot.  It's becoming a very negative and violent book.  The prince was seized by an epileptic fit just as Rogozhin was about to stab him.  Violence is the exception.  I'm not denying the horror of humanity exists, but I believe the vast majority of people in history have lived relatively peaceful lives and died of non-violent causes, But violence is and has been sensationalized in history and media so that people think it's more commonplace than it is. [photo staring up the sides of the Stardust into the blue sky from the pool]

Why Do People Make Promises?

[pencil sketch looking north from sidewalk tables at Swingers Coffee Shop on Beverly past the Easton gym up Laurel Ave.]
6-10-99 10:17 AM Th
I tidied up Jim a little this morning.  I thought it was pretty good.  I have to have him recall his childhood asthma attacks.  That will take me to page seventy-one.  I already read the newspaper today.  When I'm done with this I'll read more Idiot.  I've got to do fifteen minutes when I get home.  Shirelle made shepherd's pie: ground beef, onions and corn under mashed potatoes and a layer of melted cheddar.  It's good.  I brought some to school today in Tupperware.  Goofy's on top of my pencil.  He reminds me of Jim.  What else?  I got a bill from GM for three hundred and fifty-three bucks.  I called them up and vehemently cried bullshit until I got them to waive the charges.  I wanted to write, but my anger was still jamming my brain.  I lay on the bed and slept.  I didn't write at all last night.  [photograph of some leguminous tree with a trunk bent into a corkscrew]  Here's that crazy tree on Hudson.      I should draw it.     What else?     It looks like a reverse question mark.       We have to go to music today.  [line drawing of a triceratops profile]  Two weeks from tomorrow is the last day I have to deal with this group of turd-graders.  Shirelle says tomorrow is the sixth anniversary of our first date.  Apparently, this means I have to spend a lot of money.  She wants to set a wedding date for August 22nd.  She asked me about it.  I said I had no thoughts on the matter.  Then I went to work.  When I got home, she wanted to know at what church I wanted to have it.  I was confused.  "I don't understand," I said.  "I don't really go to church."  ~~~~~ Whatever.  Ugh.  It's almost lunch.  Should I ask about a prenuptial agreement?  Why do people make promises?  Let's go to lunch.