5-13-97 TU 7:25 PM
Dang, I'm still not meeting my goal in this book. I'm so pressed for time. Raquel sent some e-mail saying she was confused about Getoff cuz she was thinking of me, then sent another telling me to disregard the first. Women. I predicted this. She played right into my clutches. It's too late now. Too bad for everybody. Oh, well. How will I increase Jim?
Tomorrow's my last day with my class. I gotta go grab prizes for lunch. Today I went to Arby's and ate three, count 'em, three sandwiches and fries for lunch. No supper for me tonight. Maybe I'll tread. While I was choking on the crossword, Getoff knocked on the door and invited me down to play guitar. We played about half an hour. I didn't mention Raquel's e-mail.

Skip It

5-12 7:30 PM M

I'm in night school class. I'm teaching the present tense. They have an exercise to work on for fifteen minutes. It's getting that twilight glow outside. With the kids today, we cleaned out the class and turned in our books, so I didn't get to read the paper or do my journal entry. I read the paper at my desk at home after I replied to email. I didn't quite have time to get through the crossword, though, because the Pepper came over flush from his Tombstone trip with a boner to show one of those cheezy black and white oulaw pictures he posed for. "Can't you get those at Knott's Berry Farm," I said, and he told me to shut up. He's going to talk to Danny about delivering Rawler's pool table to our house. When I was signing in at school today there was an envelope with my name on it. I opened it and lo and behold, it was check for two hundred and forty-six bucks! Maybe I can get a stereo for the car with it. I don't know what the check is for. What else? I still haven't cleaned off my desk. I still have my fifteen minutes and one page to do. Am at an impasse with Jim. The girl characters loom horrifically.

There was an article in the paper about the coincidental release of new works by Pynchon, Roth, Bellow, and Mailer. It questioned their import in the radical nineties as if every new age wasn't considered radical. It supposed the "Great American Novel" is acutally impossible to write.

5-9 Pegasus Beefeater Titties

Carlin and I are stopped at the Mobil on Beverly and La Brea while she fuels her vehicle. We're going to some club on Las Palmas to meet Raquel. "Live a little--Beefeater," says a sign in arched letters by a girl with nice big tits. A red Pegasus flies over us. "Move it, assholes," sings Carlin, pulling out on to Highland. "Move it. Move it. Move it." The Police are on the stereo. "Turn, assholes," she sings.

5-10

Lost my pen and couldn't go on. Not an auspicious beginning for Book Sixteen. Shirelle's in the bathroom getting the shower ready. We're going to eat breakfast at the Yukon Mining Co. and then look for clothes. Maybe I'll buy my basketball hoop today.

5-11 Su 5:14 PM

Well, you can see I'm not exactly kickin' ass on the three pages I'm supposed to be doing. I've really been lagging. All I've done today is lag. This weekend has been a total washout.

I've just been lazing around, sleeping and watching sports. Last night, Thing, Carlin, Shirelle, and I headed out to see Old Peculier in Covina. I thought it would be fun to go in the convertible. Carlin wouldn't ride with us because we were going to pick up Shirelle, and the night previous Carlin was in the room during a phone conversation in which Shirelle intimated that there was something going on between Carlin and me. Utter foolishness, of course, but Carlin mentioned she was on her period, and therefore even more powerless against idiocy than a woman usually is. So, Thing backed the LeBaron out of the driveway, and I got out to shut the gate. While I did that, Thing picked up a tape that my sister had left on the center consol and put it into the tape player where he had forgotten that tapes get stuck and render the stereo useless. Eventually, I got the tape out with a couple of screwdrivers, but whatever I did, the radio doesn't work anymore, and tunes were the essential soundtrack to my vision of the evening. We went up to Miceli's on Cahuenga, a loud, steamy Italian place. Shirelle's and my dinner and drinks cost me sixty bucks. I had two Kahluas and coffee. She had two Malibu rum something or others and two glasses of red wine. The dinner rolls looked like tits. On the way out, Victor Arceo from Sharp walked over to say hello. Ana was with him. I always wondered who he was boning. When we got out to Covina, Shirelle couldn't get in cuz she'd left her ID at home. That was the topper for me. We loitered on the sidewalk a while and then went home. Getoff just called me to come down for a smoke. I said okay even though my lungs have been all shitty lately. Aghk.

5-8 1:37 PM Th

This is going to be hard. I'm tired. I didn't get to bed until midnight. Carlin knocked on the door to give us flyers for the Memorial Day weekend BBQ. Somehow we got into the whole Maine story. I must have blabbed for an hour. I did my fifteen minutes and I typed some '92 stuff that seemed like poetry, but by the time I got back to my desk I was too tired to do my page or give Jim anything and besides, Shirelle showed up, so I went to bed. She's trying to get me to marry her. I say I'll wait 'til I know we're on the same path. She implies that I shouldn't "get" any sex because, "you won't buy the cow if you're getting the milk for free." I go, "Oh, are you selling a cow?" and we both laugh. I tried to play with her, but she was dry and lifeless. I didn't get much sleep. I stayed in bed about a half hour after the alarm went off. I took Primatine Mist to try to jump start my fatigue-wracked body. When I to to school, Rosa Marias, the kindergarten teacher, clutched me by the biceps. "Mr. Zurn," she said anxiously, "are you okay? I had a dream last night that we were at a workshop and you collapsed." Last night I was paranoid about my health after I smoked my j. I thought how I need a check-up. How I might have throat or lung cancer. Now this. I poured a cup of coffee. There were muffins for the ladies who are having babies. In class we went over the homework. Then was psychomotor. I did some cums and read my paper and went into the bathroom and ... After recess the kids finished their sentence illustrations and then I taught a math lesson of adding mixed numbers.

Biddy Kathell is visiting right now. I'll probably need a nap when I get home. Whoop here it is! The end of book fifteen. Over a thousand pages. Sure, it's mostly crap, but so what? Tomorrow, there's no school cuz we teachers have to go to some workshop in Glendale. Hoolia Mooreyeyez is here to type something on my computer. If I nap when I get home, I can stay up late and not worry about what time I get up tomorrow. Maybe I can even go out and have a minor hangover installed. I've go to clean this room, send back stuff to the media lab, send back books, decide what to take home. I wonder who will be using this room. I've got to take this chair with me. I'll have to sneak it out. It's about time to go. Book Fifteen, it's been nice knowing you. Wish me luck in sixteen.

A Text-book Example of When to Use Your Ass-Kisser Voice

May 7 W 12:19 PM

Oh, I need to hurry through this so I can sart on my cums.  They don't call it cumming, do they?  My desk is an embarrassing mess. I've got--what? I forgot because I heard Fernandez open a Pepsi after I told him not to, and sure enough he has spilled the sticky shit all over the floor. I drove to Carl's Jr. at lunch. My boss saw me getting into my car after telling her yesterday I'd be leaving the school for one closer to my house because my license is suspended.

"Hel-low," I said with a smile in my ass-kisser voice. "Hel-low," she answered back in the same voice and smile.

I had my double bacon cheeseburger grubbed by the time I got back to the parking lot at school, and was about done with my fried zuchinnis when I saw Cristina, who used to work here, coming from the teacher's lounge with her baby. She looked pretty good.

The kids are watching the Jetsons video right now. I made Levi send his Pepsi back because Francis asked if he could have some and and Levi said fuck you. Mrs. Spalla is the one who gave some of these kids Pepsi and not others. What else? I put some more on Jim, though not a lot. I have more I can do tonight. I e-mailed Rachel this morning. I've got to get my ESL book from Lisette again. It would be nice to smoke when I get home, but I don't want to be all logy at night school like last Thursday. What else? It's going to be time for P.E. before I get to those cums. What else? That Room to Write book is pretty lame. The girls are making cards for Mother's Day with consturction paper and yarn and stuff. They've got to clean up now. Now Casper is on. It's the first ever Casper cartoon. His debut. His origin.

Oh, what the heck else?!? I can't think of anything. Sports in So Cal sucked last night. Dodgers, Angels, Lakers and Ducks all lost. I gave Josefina and Florencio rides home last night. Poor Casper. Everyone is afraid of him. Mario has a t-shirt with the red Pegasus Mobil Oil logo. The kids were making fun of him because he had a booger on his forehead. Oh, good. Casper found two little kids to play. Burger belch. That'll do, pig.