4-24-00 7:05 AM M

Back to work today.  Spring break was a bust.  I typed fifteen minutes yesterday morning before reading the Sunday paper.  We had to get ready to go to my mom's house before I had read anything more than the sports page.  We drove around Fullerton and Placentia writing down the phone numbers on the signs in front of houses for sale.  The one number at which someone actually picked up the phone was a listing at $269,500--about fifty thou more than I can afford, just like everything.  It's bullshit.  Whatever.  Josh barbecued steaks.  I was ill at ease all day.  Nauseous.  Still trying to make the adjustment to husband and father.  I feel heavier than ever.  I watched the Lakers beat the Kings with no volume while everyone talked about whatever they talked about.  Here's a picture from the '94-'95 school year at Sharp Ave. El in Pacoima.  That's [photograph of children in Los Angeles City Schools Learn to Swim portable pool] Christian Marcos, Raul Poz, Frank Diaz, and Danny Macias.  They were in fourth grade.  They are Freshman in high school now.  Unreal.  I read the rest of the newspaper on the way home from my mom's.  I didn't read any Mysteries of the Bible or Koran or Play It or Quartz.  I'm almost done with Quartz.  I was up until midnight reading the paper.  Rochelle was watching a documentary about The Police on VH1.  It made me wonder why I'm not a rock and roll star.  Now it's time to walk up to Wilshire Hill.  Ugh. My bike broke.  I've got to turn in my adult school attendance today.  I got the news.  US agents returned Elian Gonzalez to his father at gunpoint.  Lucky it wasn't uglier.  I wonder if I can fast until after school today.  Payday is Friday.  It's going to be about two fifty lighter than usual.  Ugh.  Spew's bachelor party is Thursday.  Rehearsal Friday.  Wedding Saturday.  Graves' Sunday.  Two months 'til summer.  So, what, though?