4-20-00  Th 1:56 PM

This vacation is just about over.  Not much I can do about it.  Being a family man, I'm broke.  I never wrote here yesterday.  I did add three or four lines to Jim today and wrote a pathetic third-person page.  Typed fifteen minutes.  Went with Rochelle to Santa Monica City College.  That turned me into a horny college freshman again.  Rochelle got info to enroll in classes over the summer.  Now I'm sitting in the backyard.  I read about Maria's daily escape to the freeways of LA in Play It.  Was there no traffic back then?  Read about the Riordan/Mahoney covenant in Quartz.  Now what?  I've got a beer I'm afraid to open.  I never learned to just fuck and forget. That would have been wise.  I fell for all that decency bullshit.  Too late now.  "Too late now" is becoming a new mantra.  I need to get some exercise.  Go for a bike ride.  Maybe call Carlos.  [photo from June '95, snow-capped peaks, Olympic National park]  June 95 was right before I started keeping really extensive journals.  Maybe there's stuff about it in the green one with the yellow pages.  I should start providing captions, duh.   I might golf tomorrow.  I feel like a bad husband.  Maybe I'll make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.  I haven't read the news today, oh boy.  [black ink sketch of snow-capped peaks, Olympic National Park, June '95]  It's a sunny spring day, rustling leaves, chirping avians.  I'd love to tur-ur-urn you-u-u o-o-on.  I haven't smoked today because I got so depressed yesterday.