11-16-99 Tu 12:18 PM
Ugh.  I did not sleep well last night.  I ate a salad at breakfast and a pumpkin bar.  I played a little guitar.  Rode my bike to work.  I felt fine 'til I saw Senorita Villa.  It's like I've got the plague all of a sudden.  She can barely bring herself to tinkle a couple of fingers in a half-hearted wave.  I guess she knows I'm interested and wants to discourage me so as not to lead me on.  Maybe Shirelle and Demona put another spell on me.  Whatever.  It makes me hurt a bit.  But fuck it.  I'll not care.  Where does this leave me?  The kids are doing Silent Reading.  I'm going to show them that cool old "The Living Desert" documentary--As soon as Angel and Benjamin get back from Villasenor's with the TV her sub borrowed last week.  I got stamps at lunch.  I only had enough money to get ten.  I'll put those bills in the mail today.  I don't know what to do about that fucking bill Gurlytzki's office keeps sending me.  Ugh.  I'm not even sure I should call Kristen.  That will only cause an ugly situation.  The kids had to go to the bus safety assembly this morning.  I got to read a little about string theory in peace.  We talked about topic sentences and supporting details in a paragraph about Mount Cameroon.  At recess, I dropped off some paperwork about my State Teacher's Retirement and some other paperwork.  We studied place value to the thousands after recess.  I skipped lunch.  Did the crossword alone in my room.  How dare me think that this could have gone happily.  Ever the fool.  How can I forget that the bottom line for me is always that I'm fucked either way?  Oh, get off it. I've got to read Poe after this.  I read "The Assignation" yesterday.  It suggested that beauty is non-existent without sadness.  Senorita Villa seems an apt example.  My sadness is related to her beauty.  When do I have to go to fucking Vegas?  I wish I could get out of that.  I have to call Gil and tell him Mariachi will play for us Sunday.  I think I'm getting a hernia or something.  Maybe I should wait until I have a car before I do anymore household purchases.  What is it about me that makes women, especially beautiful women, want to treat me like shit?  Who cares?  I wonder if we can cancel mixing today.  I should at least get an iron today so I can iron those shirts and put the ironing board away.  What else?  I don't have to work tonight, but tomorrow I do.  I probably won't have any students left.  I should go out and drink all night since it's my last chance not to have to work on a Tuesday night for a while.