4-12-99 M 1:09 PM
It's raining again today.  The kids are doing a practice test to get ready for next week's state exams.  It started to rain as Florelle and I walked two umbrella-less blocks back from Julio's, where we ate burritos for lunch.  I spent most of the morning sorting through the stack of papers on my desk, correcting homework, throwing away the obsolete stuff, while the kids talked about their weekends and wrote in their journals.  One girl went to Tijuana for the weekend.  I asked the kids if they knew what country Tijuana was in.  They said, "Fresno,"  "Bakersfield,"  and "San Joaquin," all of which are true in a way, but I said "No," "No," and "No," since I was asking literally, and finally I had to give them the answer and show them the map.  I ran off a bunch of worksheets.  I saw Senoritavilla walking toward the copy room, and I ran past her to get there first.  I said, "Ha ha" as ran by, but she wasn't even going there.  Whatever. After recess, I tried to give the kids a crash course in multiplication and division.  I'm sure the lesson went through them like shit through a goose.  Then I went to lunch.  I was just going to go to the flame chicken place and write, but Florelle caught me, so I went with her to Julio's.  It didn't start raining until it was time to walk back.  I said it seemed like God was playing a little joke on us--
Antown just screamed, "Man, I got ta use da batroom."
Coleco said, "Oh, I know, all the time, whenever it rains, ya gotta go t'batroom.  It's like you drinking all that rain."
What else?  I really dread going to work tonight.  I might opt for not going to work.      I've got to get this withholding situation straightened out.     I didn't read the paper other than the headlines on the sports page.  I didn't get to read any Player Piano yet today.  I've still got a past-tense, third-person page to write.  I looked at my exercise book this morning, but I can't recall now what the assignment was.  I'll have to look it up again when I get home.  I hope I can do something good for Jim.

The Question That Never Goes Away

Su 5:15 PM 4-11-99
Shirelle's getting ready.  We're going out to eat.  It's been raining steadily all day.  I have been reading the paper.  I wrote a meaningless fifteen minutes. I finished reading Matthew.  It was disturbing and confusing and hard to believe.  My lips are chapped.  I've had a money order in my wallet for weeks and weeks. My brother gave it to me to pay me back for paying his fee on his credential.  I have to go up to the credit union on Cahuenga by Universal City to deposit it.  I figure I'll just blow the fifty bucks up there at Miceli's or something.  Maybe I'll go up to City Walk and get a book, a CD, see a movie...7:17 PM  We're at Miceli's.  The waiters are belting out slightly-altered-for-humor selections from "The Sound of Music."  Shirelle says, "You gotta get rid of that bed.  I think you've got chintzes." 
"How do you know?" I asked. 
"Because I've got all these little bites."
"I don't have any bites."
"Well, I do, and you have chintzes.
"How come they only bite you?"
"I don't know.  I notice them because I'm more sensitive than you are."
Red and white checkered tablecloths.  A mural of a full-moon-lit Venice canal.  And chintzes, supposedly.   Should we walk up to City Walk from here?  Should we see a movie?  Or should we head back home.  We drank a bottle of Maddelena Vineyard 1996 San Simeon Reserve Merlot.  We ate a clam and garlic pizza and chicken cannelloni.  I think I saw Senoritavilla's car in front of the new Los Feliz library. What else?  Shirelle says she has to get her ring cleaned.  She asked me if I thought there was someone better than her out there for me. I said, "That's always a tantalizing question for anyone, but even it there was, and I got with her, the question would always remain."

F 4-9-99 11:51 AM
In a Wilshire Hill shitter.  I was going to try to return this video to Blockbuster, but there's probably not enough time now.  I'll have to wait until after school.  This is my second crap today.  Whatever.  the intense itching on my burnt ass is starting to subside, and now I'm starting to feel the first faint cravings for an alcohol binge since the fire-jumping accident.  It will probably be sports and booze all weekend with Peachtree coming up.  Carlos said he might come after school to do some drinking and play some cards. Hopefully, I'll get my writing done before he comes.  I'm hoping to do some golfing tomorrow.  I hope Peach is smart enough to bring his clubs. It's about time for me to wipe now.  Oh, maybe not just yet.  P. U.  12:26 PM  We're back in class now.  I skipped lunch, but I had a turkey and cheese croissant at recess.  I bought a ticket to Educator's Night at Dodger Stadium vs. St. Louis. I sat in the lounge at lunch.  A deaf woman came in with a troop of deaf kids and went to the refrigerator and took out a bouquet of peach-colored roses.  She gave one to each child.  One kid was shoving his rose into the face of another kid who tapped the woman to register a complaint.  It was funny.  He was clearly communicating the old "Teacher, so-and-do's bothering me," but those are words the deaf kids has never heard.  The underlying idea still exists and the expression of it exists.  I wondered how they think if not in words.  Whatever.  What else?  I'm going to put on the movie "Mulan" when I'm done with this.  I'll have to read some Player Piano at the same time.  How will Vonnegut orchestrate Anita's comeuppance?  2:30 [pencil sketch of 32-cent stamp of Boris Karloff's The Mummy] School's over now.  We watched "Mulan."  It was cool.  Great story.  Great animation.  Antuan is hanging around being his usual pain in the butt. I'll have a little puff when I get home.  I could go for some grub now.  What else?  It's bright and sunny and cold and windy.  Should I go talk to Phylicia about my taxes now?  My book hasn't enough continuity.  I want to add Deadeye Dick to my bookshelf.  Where will I put all my books in the new place?

Th 1:25 PM 4-8-99
My "Jeopardy!" check has to come either today or tomorrow.  I wonder how much debt I have left on that GM card.  2:30  School's over now.  I went to Jack in the Box this morning.  My pants are feeling pretty tight.  It hasn't rained today, but word has it a big ol' storm is moving in from the Gulf of Alaska, sposed to bring cold temps and low-elevation snowfall.  I have to call the pharmacy to get my prescription refilled.  I haven't gotten the chance to read an Player Piano yet today.  I'm running a little behind.  What else?  I have to do another past-tense third-person page exercise when I [pencil sketch of stacked books and an apple] when I get home.  I did my fifteen minutes before school this morning.  I'll have to walk to class tonight.  I guess I can read about ten pages or so of Vonnegut as I walk.  I've got to fill out my attendance.  Tax day is a week from today.  I have to send the state a check for seven hundred and something dollars.  I'll go down to the office after this and find out what I have to do to change my withholding claim. What else?  Nothing.  There ain't nothing [pencil sketch of Bela Lugosi as Dracula 32-cent US postage stamp] else.  My pencil is dull, just like me.  I desperately need to start exercising again.  Should I sign up to teach summer school?  Or should I sub?  Or should I teach night school?  Or should I take the whole summer off and write?  Some combination of those things would probably be wisest. What else?  How will I get to the bottom of this page?  Tonight, I have to add some more car conversation with Jim and the girls and get them to the auto parts store which will turn out to be closed.  From there, what?  They get a ride to a gas station.  The girls drop them off at Kmart?  Oh, writing is a stupid waste of time.  I should have pursued acting.  Whatever.  What else?  Oh, what on [pencil sketch of Boris Karloff in Frankenstein 32-cent US postage stamp] heaven and Earth else?  Thank God tomorrow is Friday.  What else?  There ain't nothing.  I'm a cog in a machine.