6:48 Su 3-28-99 PM
This will not be easy.  All I've done is sleep today.  I don't know what's wrong with me.  I'm always tired.  Butt and I went to Callendar's for a so-so brunch.  The Orioles beat the Cuban national team in Havana.  Fidel was on hand.  Venus beat sister Serena at the Lipton Open.  A stealth fighter was shot down.  Makes me nervous and sick.  The Dodgers beat the Braves in a spring training game.  The Lakers beat the Knicks in a game full of silly skirmishes.  I read the paper, did the crosswords.  Haven't read the Bible yet today.  Thing and I golfed the three-par at Rancho Park yesterday.  I had one par and three bogies.  A couple of sixes and a seven and an eight.  After that we drove down to my mom's.  My uncle came.  Everyone wanted to see my burnt ass.  I made a joke about Siamese twins playing an accordion.  We watched old home videos from when pencil-thin arms hung down to my knees.  Came home and went to sleep without writing.  Shirelle's out drinking with some guy.  I haven't had drink in a week.  What else?  I started reading Vonnegut's Player Piano.  I'm thinking of going to McDonald's and Blockbuster.  I'll borrow Thing's truck.  I haven't exercised in ages.  I want to go out just to get even with Shirelle, but I still don't want to drink.  I'll have a little puff later.  Do a third-person.  I've got to get some more dialog in the car with the girls.  I'm going fishing tomorrow at Castaic with Rawler.  What else?  I've got laundry to do.  I've got to make an appointment for my shoulder.  I ought to see a dentist.  Got to do my fucking taxes.  My burn is getting itchy.  Garsh.

3-26-99 F 11:17 AM
I'm not sneezing or coughing.  I have no runny nose, but I'm still not feeling right.  My hands feel heavy, my body weak.  I stayed home from school again today, same as yesterday.  Ugh.  I watched the movie "Splendor in the Grass' starring Warren Beatty and Natalie Wood this morning.  It was good.  I need to do some straightening up, as usual.  Maybe I should shave.  I'm drinking cold, day-old coffee. I'm supposed to go down to my mom's tomorrow to see my uncle.  What else?  Some of the trees are sprouting new leaves.  I have to take out the trash.  I have not been diligent about exercise lately.  Maybe I'll have a smoke today.  It has been nearly a week.  I need to make arrangements to have my shoulder checked out.  Need to get my taxes done.  Where is that "Jeopardy!" check?  Why haven't I heard back from the Bahamas?  I still haven't received any official written notice about our eviction.  While I was watching "Splendor in the Grass," I noticed the old man who lives across the street putting up a FOR LEASE sign.  The old man's name is John, and there was a younger guy there with a busted front tooth named Vladislev.  The place they are renting out is huge, with a fireplace, but at $1375 a month is more than I can afford.  I moved here in February or March of '94.  The sky is blue straight up, but gray on the horizon.  What will I do with my ping pong table?  Every home on this street is owned by an immigrant.  I ordered pizza last night.  Stupid.  I wonder what happened to my Visa gold card.  I hope I cut it up.  I'm going to have to get the Chrysler fixed soon.  What else?  A pretty frisky squirrel capers about out back.  His tail looks like it's had seven or eight cups of coffee.

1:17 PM 3-24-99
I seem to have developed quite a shitty little cold.  My nose is running like a Kenyan marathoner.  My Kenyan student, Juma, who works at a chicken processing plant, brought me a chicken last night.  When I got home from school yesterday, I went over to check out the place on Hudson.  It had a dishwasher and a laundry room.  I'll have to put sixteen or seventeen hundred down to move in.  With or without Shirelle, though?  Ugh.  We're supposed to have a spring break party at night school tonight.  I need razors.  I haven't shaved in about five days.  I didn't wear a tie today, either.  I called Rawler after night school last night.  We're going to go fishing on Monday.  Then I have to call Peachtree.  He told me how he proposed to his girlfriend.  He said he wanted me to be in his wedding party.  I was surprised he would want such an asshole in his wedding. I told him that I would be honored and behave myself.  I e-mailed Shaun about Vivid Dreams.  I was pretty critical.  Whatever.  What else?  Dinnerstine said I can't keep my bike in my class anymore.  That pisses me off. 

Some Dreams

11:30 AM  Tu 3-23-99
I walked out of the Urgent Care without getting treated last night because they took so damn long to get to me, and I had to go to work and give the final exam.  I put on my clothes and strolled out.  I started walking home.  Then Carlos pulled up in his van.  "Get in," he called.  He was kind enough to drop me at my house.  I rode my bike to LACAS and picked up my stuff.  Then I rode to school.  McKey was there blathering about chess.  I'm interested, but the guy needs to come up for air once in a while.  Many of my students had trouble with the test.  Either I'm a bad teacher, or they're monumentally stupid.  Whatever.  Boy, I'm full of insults today.  Old Mrs. Rivera turned in her test around 8:00, and I closed up and rode home. Shirelle was there with her whole "When are we going to move in together?" thing. I'm supposed to meet Mr. Gonzalez today about 3:30 to see the place on Hudson.  Butt wants to meet with me.  Naturally, there's a staff meeting today that conflicts with that appointment.  I did my third-person page before school this morning.  Turned on Jim but only made some minor edits.  Had some crazy crazy dreams last night.  In one, I dreamt that oily music teacher was after me to like sexually assault me or something in some Vegas-type place.  It was very disturbing.  I kept having to get away from him, but he kept coming after me.  I woke up sickened.  Later, I dreamed that Senoravilla was giving me a ride to Silver Lake.  She stopped at a store where she was looking at some Spanish music CDs.  The place was filled with cheap Mexican porn.  I walked out and got a cab.  I fell asleep in the cab, and when I woke up, I was outside a Tijuana bar.  It was morning.  I was trying to find a phone, but there was none.  A lady in the bar said to go into a room in the back.  It was so dark, I was afraid to go back there.  When the lights came on, there were about twenty people waiting to use the phone.  So I walked away.  I saw the cliffs over the ocean in the moonlight.  Then I woke up.  I have to give finals again tonight.  I'll type for fifteen minutes when I get home.  When I'm done here I can read some more Elkin.  So far, it's not really grabbing me.  This character Miller is a disagreeable guy.  What else?  I need Neo-Sporin and aloe vera.  Ugh.  Ack.  Ick.  Augh.  Ugh.

My Burnt Ass

2:03 PM M 3-22-99
My underwear keeps sticking to that horrible burn I got on my ass trying to jump the campfire drunk off that same ass Friday night.  I'm uncomfortably cranked up on coffee and my kids are lazy worthless turds.  I typed fifteen minutes.  Rode my bike to school.  Typed up my homework.  Florelle gave me a ride to Wilton Place at lunch where I had to turn it in.  She complained about her boyfriend the whole time.  We went to Taco Bell.  I read the news.  Should I go to the doctor?  Shirelle brought me some leftovers for lunch.  She came home all drunk from her Oscar party an hour and half later than she said she would.  I don't feel good.  Glorious called last night to tell me not to marry Shirelle.  What a trip.  She said I am a great guy and can do better.  I don't know how she thought it was any business of hers.  I've got to go to LACAS today.  I'm giving the final tonight.  I should be able to get a lot of reading done.  I guess I'm going to read the Stanley Elkin novella "Van Gogh's Room at Arles."  I still have those e-mails to write and to call Esteban and Marcus.  I'm sore all over.  I have to do a third person page.  My ankle hurts.  4:15 I'm at Wilshire Medical Center ER to have my burnt ass looked at.  They just gave me a tetanus shot.  I sure hope they get me out of here before my final exam at 6:00.  The nurse said, "So you were supposed to be roasting marshmallows and you roasted your butt instead?"  I'm going to have to take a cab to LACAS and get my stuff, then I've got to go to the ATM to get money for the cab.  That'll probably run at least fifteen bucks.  Ugh.  I hope they don't keep me here too long.  So I'm sitting here in one of those split-ass gowns.  Ugh. What else?  I still think alcohol is my friend.  Ha-ha.  I better try and quit for a while.  Right, with spring break coming up.  I'm an alkie I'm an alkie I'm an alkie alchoholic.  I was lost and gone forever I'm a fucking alcoholic.