10-8-01 M 6:25 PM

At LA High. Deeply depressed. Believing that the path to salvation is straight and narrow, that we are not meant to enjoy this world. Whatever. I think Islam should be eradicated. Tomorrow, maybe I won’t. I think school administrations should leave me alone. Would I still try? Whatever. I st4ruck out three more times yesterday and grounded out easily to third. Made an error in the first inning that allowed a runner to score on a bunt. Made a poor throw to third on another. Ugh. Rochelle wrote her paper. Carol was at the house. I got Jim up to page one hundred sixty-nine this morning. Read about the slave trade in Chesapeake. Arabs and blacks were all in on it, but the white man takes the rap. Whatever. These fucking attacks have turned me into a conservative. 

  [Tom Petty at the Hollywood Bowl, circa 1996—Great seats, not] Whatever. What else? I barely just now finished reading the Sunday paper. Haven’t read today’s I guess I’ll read it in bed tonight. Ate at McDonald’s like I wanted a heart attack. I’ve had three burgers in three days. Drove to work. I’m SO sick of being a teacher. I think I’d be less cynical if I was a manual laborer. I don’t get it. I wonder if I wouldn’t feel so bad if I had played better baseball. Of if the world wasn’t full of psycho murdering fuckheads. Or if I had another job. Ricky Henderson should retire with a bang. Don’t try to pay again next year, Ricky. What in fuck else? I saw the Kings blow it last night. I heard there was an earthquake yesterday, but I didn’t feel it. What else? I need to drink some vinegar when I get home. ~~~A man just came to visit me. His son is in my class at Wilshire Hill. His son is a cool enough kid.