3-7-00 Tu 3:15 PM

I haven't gotten much done today.  I typed fifteen this morning.  It was cold.  Strummed a few minutes. Rode bike to work, got Times and La Opinion.  We worked on phonics and test-taking skills.  Read the paper at recess.  Stupid Tuesday. Then we corrected our math.  I ate a bagel with cream cheese.  Had an Individualized Education Plan meeting for Pablo.  He's not clinically retarded.  Not even educably retarded.  Whatever.  I made a 12:06 tee time for Saturday.  I scheduled conferences for next week.  Haven't read any Blake yet today.  Have to go see Phylicia about mailing my taxes.  Type a third person when I get home.  Work on Jim. Go teach night school.  Watch a movie tonight.  Do it all again tomorrow.  Got a meeting after school tomorrow.  If I go to eight of them, I'll get a salary point.  Fill out the web page application.  Should I call Jerry Robertson?  What else?  Cold and rainy today.                             "My eyes fix'd in happy copulation."  Dothon said, "The moment of desire!  The moment of desire!  The virgin that pines for man shall awaken her womb to enormous joys in the secret shadow of her chamber: the youth shut up from lustful joy shall forget to generate & an amorous image In the shadows of his curtains and in the folds of his silent pillow.  Are not these the places of religion?  The self-enjoyings of self-denial?  Why dost thou seek religion?  Is it because acts are not lovely that thou seekest solitude, Where the horrible darkness is impressed with reflections of desire?" [blue ink sketch of topless woman]                              I hope Phylicia is still there whenever it is I finish this drivel.                   Prison guards are paid more than teachers.    [blue ink sketch of character from Blake with caption 'Fire that end in endless strife']  What else?  Let's not just copy Blake for everything.  I wonder if Rochelle is cooking?  Maybe I'll save the tax chore with Phylicia for tomorrow now.  The sub who came to watch my class while I went to meetings was named Ms. Sakamoto. It's already almost four.  How is this taking so long?  I could go for a drink.  It is Fat Tuesday.  If there's no dinner, I'll have peanut butter and jelly.  Does that mean it's forty days 'til Good Friday?  I ripped a wart off with my fingernails during the meeting.  It bled.  It will be back before long.  OUT----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Flabby and Cholesterol-Ridden: The Pillars of Tyranny

 3-6-00 M 11:33 AM

I didn't type this morning.  We watched some Kevin Spacy movie called "Swimming With Sharks" on Bravo last night, mostly because we couldn't sleep.  My lack of amorous interest in my esposa compounds.  urg.  I have a strong longing for adventure, travel, new people.  I'm not creative enough.  Not powerful enough.  ~~ Ugh.  I didn't get out of bed 'til seven this morning.  Didn't shower - just gelled my hair, shaved, and dressed.  Rode my bike to school.  Got a paper.  Have to feel out the web page application.  Clean my room when I get home.  Transfer my savings to my checking and send in my tax return.  Ugh.  I want to get a cheeseburger, but I'm feeling flabby and cholesterol-ridden, and I have a chicken sandwich at home, and Rochelle will probably cook some dinner this afternoon.  I have to do a third person when I get home.  What else?  I'd like to eat.  Better not.  Like to, though.  The kids talked about their weekends.  Crystal went to Rite Aid.  Jocelyn went to Burger King.  Jackelin ate pizza.  Francisco played basketball.  They wrote in their journals.  It was sprinkling at recess, so they stayed in and used the computers and watched some old "Schoolhouse Rock" videos.  We did a lesson on adding four-digit numbers.  Now, it's lunch.  I'm in the room at home.  I left a filthy porno in the VCR.  Rochelle will find out.  I'm ashamed.  Read some more Blake after this.  Read some more of the Knopf intro to the Koran.  Mohammed began to spread his message in the seventh century, CE.  My watch has gone dead.  Rochelle said she'd get me a battery.  She's a sweetheart.  She's also moodier than I am, I think.  We've got silent reading to do after lunch.  Then, we'll do a lesson on the expansion of whites into the west in the early 1800s.   Hopefully, we'll be able to go out for a little basketball if the weather cooperates.  I've got to go by the LACAS office tonight.  What else?  I should comment on Manny's story.  It sucks.  What else?  Blake asserts that Jesus is either directly or indirectly violated the Ten Commandments.  "Did he not mock at the Sabbath and so mock at the Sabbath's?  murder those who murdered because of him?  turn away the law from the woman taken in adultery?  steal the labor of others to support him?  bear false witness when he omitted making a defense before Pilate?  covet when he prayed for his disciples?  I tell you, no virtue can exist without breaking these ten commandments.  Jesus was all virtue, and acted from impulse, not from rules."  It is the devil speaking, but you sense that Blake would be in agreement with his devil here.  

(...Temperance, Prudence, Justice, Fortitude, the four pillars of tyranny)

 3-5-00 Su 8:19 PM

We're in the Kentucky Fried Chicken drive-thru on La Brea.  We've just come from Blockbuster. We rented some crap that I have no interest in seeing.  "Sometimes I call La Brea La Bia," I told Rochelle.  We're missing "The Simpsons."  ~~ Just finished eating.  "The Simpsons" weren't even on because some wannabe awards show with celebrities glad-handing each other was on.  I took out the trash.  It has been raining off and on all day.  Rochelle and I might play cards or Scrabble.  I still have to read some Koran tonight and write a third-person page.  I've uncapped a beer that I don't particularly want.  We picked up our new car on Friday.  It' s a 2000 Oldsmobile Alero, black with tan leather interior and chrome wheels.  Our Swamp Angel picture needs a matte.  What else?  Random, meaningless junk.  That Mysteries of the Bible book is an insult to intelligence.  Whatever.  Maybe if I had a smoke.  I don't feel like smoking or drinking right now, but if I was at school, I would be wishing I was home smoking and drinking right now.  Back to school tomorrow.  I'll probably be up late tonight.  I'm just sitting here not writing.  Fifteen minutes passed between the previous sentence and the one previous to that while I just sat here looking around, not seeing anything.  Just keep going.  Don't stop.  Get it over with.      Fuck.  What else?  There's got to be more to life than this kitchen table, this linoleum floor, and this refrigerator hum.  How can I get angels to visit me.  I'm full.  What's Steve McQueen got that I haven't got?  I wonder what's on TV.  My guitar playing has gotten pretty monotonous.  They microwave and coffeemaker look even more resentful of their boredom than I am; the oven seems kind of resigned to it, though.  You can hear rain now.  We bought the Disney video of "Tarzan."  A sudden downpour. A little thunder.  It ends as abruptly as it begins.  Rochelle giggles.  Agok Amelikite Ashtoreth.  Baal.  Seraphim.  Theotormon.  Enitharmon.  Urizen.  Urthona.  Albion.  Los. Veda.  Luvah.  Maybe I need to quit one of my jobs.  Up N Atom.  Cactus Pete.  Tabasco Shrimp.  You can't scare me; I'm a teacher.  "The man who respects woman shall be despised by woman." --WB

[blue ink line drawing of Curious George huffing a jar of ETHER]