Brotherly Love and Alcohol
Wed Aug 21
It was about this time I had a nice, warm, danceable buzz going on and felt no reason to run up my tab. I told Mac to get one last drink cuz I was closing my tab. He begged me not to. He said, "Trebacca wouldn't be like this. Why do you have to be such a little bitch." I couldn't believe the fuck would be such an ingrate. I said, "Look, I'm not Trebacca. I don't have his money, and if you don't like it, why don't you get your own fucking credit card and your own fucking checking account and a learn to manage your finances and grow the fuck up."
He said, "All right, little bitch. It's on. Let's go." He wanted to fight. I was so incensed that I welcomed fighting his big All-Conference sack specialist ass. It was only the Big Sky conference. We growled at each other there in the bar. The bouncers tried to cool us off. Mac said, "It's okay. We're brothers." I said, "Call the cops on this asshole. He wants to fight me cuz I'm closing my tab." They said take it outside. Mac went out to wait for me. When I'd paid my tab, I went out there. How'd it start? He charged me there in the parking lot, and I sidestepped him and said, "Boom!" and gave him a no-contact stunt punch to the side of the head as he went by. He stopped and whirled, charged again, got another stunt punch, and lowered his head to tackle me. I got my arm around his head and pulled it down to my side, but I had him around the ears, and I needed to get under his chin for the lock. He pulled out behind me and buried me face-first in the asphalt before I could turn around. Sitting on my back, he was slapping my head around and shouting, "See, little bitch! See! I could break your neck!" I said, "Go ahead. It'll just make you a bigger fucking loser than you already are." I lunged up, trying to buck his two hundred and fifty pounds off of me. I was able to roll over beneath him and grab his face.
Meanwhile, upstairs in the bar, Peachtree says he was dancing when one of the bouncers tapped him on the shoulder and said, "Hey, your two buddies are out in the parking lot trying to kill each other." Peach came out and found Mac on my chest, with me trying to rip his face off. He ran over and pulled Mac off of me. Mac was in a bull fury now. He went after Peachtree and shoved him in the chest a few times before returning his attention to me. When he did, Peach darted in and kicked Mac in the ass as hard as he could and took off running, Mac right on his tail. I yelled at Peach. "Whaddya gotta go and do that for?" Mac threw a few drunken roundhouses at Peach and me before I got him in bearhug, and he spun out of it and faced me with hate-filled animal eyes.
I said, "This is over a bar tab, Mac. You've got to calm down."
He said, "This ain't over no bar tab. This cuz you a little bitch. A little nickel and dime counting bitch." And then he started talking about a time twenty years earlier when we were fighting at Disneyland, he said, and I had made him cry, and a lady walked by and I said, "Isn't he ugly when he cries?" and she said, "No, but I think you're very mean."
"That was Knott's Berry Farm," I corrected him. Then I told him to stop it. "You're my brother and I love you." I held his face when I said it, and he pulled away and said, "Fuck you and your little black bitch." [referring to Shirelle] "You've gone against the family every way you know how. You don't know shit about love! As of this moment, I don't need you. I've got a dad and a stopmom and that's all I need."
It was about this time I had a nice, warm, danceable buzz going on and felt no reason to run up my tab. I told Mac to get one last drink cuz I was closing my tab. He begged me not to. He said, "Trebacca wouldn't be like this. Why do you have to be such a little bitch." I couldn't believe the fuck would be such an ingrate. I said, "Look, I'm not Trebacca. I don't have his money, and if you don't like it, why don't you get your own fucking credit card and your own fucking checking account and a learn to manage your finances and grow the fuck up."
He said, "All right, little bitch. It's on. Let's go." He wanted to fight. I was so incensed that I welcomed fighting his big All-Conference sack specialist ass. It was only the Big Sky conference. We growled at each other there in the bar. The bouncers tried to cool us off. Mac said, "It's okay. We're brothers." I said, "Call the cops on this asshole. He wants to fight me cuz I'm closing my tab." They said take it outside. Mac went out to wait for me. When I'd paid my tab, I went out there. How'd it start? He charged me there in the parking lot, and I sidestepped him and said, "Boom!" and gave him a no-contact stunt punch to the side of the head as he went by. He stopped and whirled, charged again, got another stunt punch, and lowered his head to tackle me. I got my arm around his head and pulled it down to my side, but I had him around the ears, and I needed to get under his chin for the lock. He pulled out behind me and buried me face-first in the asphalt before I could turn around. Sitting on my back, he was slapping my head around and shouting, "See, little bitch! See! I could break your neck!" I said, "Go ahead. It'll just make you a bigger fucking loser than you already are." I lunged up, trying to buck his two hundred and fifty pounds off of me. I was able to roll over beneath him and grab his face.
Meanwhile, upstairs in the bar, Peachtree says he was dancing when one of the bouncers tapped him on the shoulder and said, "Hey, your two buddies are out in the parking lot trying to kill each other." Peach came out and found Mac on my chest, with me trying to rip his face off. He ran over and pulled Mac off of me. Mac was in a bull fury now. He went after Peachtree and shoved him in the chest a few times before returning his attention to me. When he did, Peach darted in and kicked Mac in the ass as hard as he could and took off running, Mac right on his tail. I yelled at Peach. "Whaddya gotta go and do that for?" Mac threw a few drunken roundhouses at Peach and me before I got him in bearhug, and he spun out of it and faced me with hate-filled animal eyes.
I said, "This is over a bar tab, Mac. You've got to calm down."
He said, "This ain't over no bar tab. This cuz you a little bitch. A little nickel and dime counting bitch." And then he started talking about a time twenty years earlier when we were fighting at Disneyland, he said, and I had made him cry, and a lady walked by and I said, "Isn't he ugly when he cries?" and she said, "No, but I think you're very mean."
"That was Knott's Berry Farm," I corrected him. Then I told him to stop it. "You're my brother and I love you." I held his face when I said it, and he pulled away and said, "Fuck you and your little black bitch." [referring to Shirelle] "You've gone against the family every way you know how. You don't know shit about love! As of this moment, I don't need you. I've got a dad and a stopmom and that's all I need."
posted by johnz at 6:03 PM
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