10-5-01 F 9:02 AM

My teeth need a jackhammer, or a mathematician, to solve this calculus problem. The alarm released anthrax into the room. Ada vaccinated me with kisses and smiles. I turned the radio off. Showered. Drank coffee. Crapped. Skipped shaving—and brushing my teeth, from the feel of them. I had no breakfast and forgot my vitamin. The baby is an accomplished dancer. Most babies just ben their knees to the beat, but she has advanced to taps and jigs. I drove to school. Bonds tied McGwire last night. Ricky passed Cobb. It was a bad day for the white man. I have to correct these math tests. Call “Smush” at ten. I can audition today at 4:30 or next Friday. My sister is coming up today, but my mom is not coming after all. What a long time it has taken to fill this journal. Mariachi and Akbar left messages last night. Simone called to invite us to some parties. We’re going out to Riverside again tomorrow to meet with the lender. I hope we’re done by 12:30 so I can see #3 Oklahoma vs. #5 Texas. I should take some Exedrine today. I’d rather have a cheeseburger, though. My game is at 1:30 at Pasadena High. I guess I’ll try to finish the season, and then I’ll be done with it. Take up golfing. The kids are reading a story about a poor peddler who would rather pass up a fortune in silver than burden his donkey. What a jackass! ----Rochelle and Ada just stopped by class to tell me they’re taking the car. I have to do some more CELDTing after lunch today. A sub will take over for me, and I’ll pull out some kids to test one at a time. I say to the kids, “Say what you hear.” Then, I say, “Man,” and if they say “man” correctly, I fill in a bubble and if they don’t, I fill in a different bubble. It’s like that for fifty-nine items. Takes about twenty minutes per kid. I know. I know. It’s hard to believe the people who dream this shit up and get money to make it happen. I’d rather be fighting terrorists. I’m hungry. I want a smoke. I’m hungry. Haven’t talked to Walters in a while. What else? You what the answer to that question is? : Nothing.

The problem with Islam in particular and religion is general is that anyone who’s sure their faith is right and everyone else’s wrong is an asshole. We should round them into concentration camps and preheat the ovens. We should not tolerate intolerance. The “Doom to the unbelievers” crowd should be eradicated. We should burn some books.

 10-2-01 8:40 PM Tu

I suppose writing on the porch counts for being out somewhere. Though, it makes changing my clothes pointless. Crickets and dogs live in this world. I was supposed to go to work (I couldn’t even remember the word at first), but I didn’t. Rochelle and Ada are at my mom’s. I thought of writing to my brother advising him to change his tone and watch his grammar. The pent went dead. I sharpened a pencil earlier, but this one is dull. I’d still be at work. I don’t want to tell Rochelle I cut class. Worse, I made up a story about my father-in-law being in the hospital. The phone rings. I didn’t answer it. It’s my mom, but I’m not supposed to be here. She leaves a message. “My girls” are on their way home. Sounds like my sister cut my wife’s hair. I think she was foretelling me, too, as if it is important I say I like it. She’ll be wondering why I’ve changed my clothes. I should have gotten some exercise. I’m back inside now. I put my bike in the back. Rochelle is home now. She was telling me how our lifestyle is going to change when we have a house payment, like maybe I hadn’t thought of it. We’re going to watch “Metropolis.” I’ve never seen it. Say it’s about no place. The heads need to be cleaned on the VCR. The NHL starts tomorrow. Sovereignty is an outdated concept. It should be abandoned in the name of world democracy. I want to get back my copy of “The Phantom Menace.” I’m thirsty. The dog’s farts are terrorist attacks. I ate chicken wings and pasta alfredo and one slice of pizza.  10-3-01 W 10:20 Am A day later and still I can’t finish this. I realize that I am cynical and easily annoyed and that these are flaws in my character. The alarm goes off with the news each morning. Terrorism greets each day. I should switch it to music. If I finish this page before Judgement Day, I’ll read another twenty-five pages of Chesapeake. I’m having pizza for brunch. Rochelle has class this afternoon. The baby and I were howling at each other this morning. It was fun. I wish I had a glass of milk.