W 1:03 PM 11-24-99

I’m in the school library with the rest of the faculty.  It’s a pupil-free day.  We’ve been sitting in meetings all morning.  I read my newspaper, even though Mrs. James and Mrs. Berger said it was rude.  I wanted to tell them to mind their own business.  Ugh.  I had a dream that I was at Knott’s Berry Farm with Anne and all the ice between us had melted and she was warm with me and smiling, and we were holding hands.  I woke directly from that dream bitterly disappointed that it wasn’t real.  I groaned and rolled over and punched the bed and went back to sleep.  Urg.  I ate no breakfast this morning.  I was sitting on the couch, bummed.  I heard Shirelle get her mail.  I peeked out the window and saw her get in her car and drive away.  I drove to work.  Everybody read my paper before I did.  The meetings have been about new report cards and ELD levels.  Yawn.  We went to KooKooRoo at lunch.  I drove King, Gillespie, and Florelle, and we met Estelle, Nattaz, and Mulroney.  I couldn’t talk much.  Ralph and I talked about going to play golf and shoot a little pool today.  I didn’t dare look at her today.  AUGH!  Her door is open.  How unusual.  What if I went over and told her about my dream?  Fucking dream.  Can’t help what we dream.  Don’t talk to her.  An open door isn’t necessarily an invitation.  I had a beer and a whiskey at Dublin’s with Slim Jim last night.  He took me to task for looking like I don’t listen.  He said I am uncommunicative.  Same as Shirelle says, and James, and Berger.   Phantom keeps wanting to express his affection.   I think his TB is heightening his sense of mortality.  I could go for playing some basketball today.  I have to do a third-person page.  I haven’t read any Poe for a few days.  Haven’t worked on Jim.  I have to get more frames and albums.  Get that entertainment center.  I’ve got ironing to do.  Got to wash the car.  I mopped this morning.  I’ve got to empty the dishwasher.  Feel like playing guitar.  Why would she leave her door open if not to invite visitors?  She could open the window if she wanted fresh air and still maintain her whole keep-away aura.