7-11-00 What Happened When My Mother Stepped in Gum

 

7-11-00 4:42 PM Tu

“Come over! I’ll make you martinis!”

“To the Bat Pole!” I said.

I’m at home on the couch. I was going to ride up to Larchmont before class and pick up my prescription and write in this book, but it got late, and now I guess I’ll just try and watch a few innings of the All-Star Game before I have to go to work. I wrote nine new lines for Jim. The cops are about to give him the field sobriety test. I read ten pages of the Koran and lifted weights. Then I typed fifteen minutes. Took a shower. Read some Tropic of Capricorn. Made tacos. Watched “Sullivan’s Travels.” I haven’t yet read today’s newspaper. When I get home from class tonight, I’ll have to write a third-person page. Read some Chandler. Add more to Jim. Tomorrow, I have to go to Wilshire Hill and Hobart. Rochelle got us free tickets to the Dodger/Angel game Friday night. I’m going to bring my aunt. Saturday is that party. Our game is at nine Sunday. What else? I feel bummed. I’m not all that excited about teaching the alphabet tonight. I need to go by the office. Tomorrow. Fuck. What else? What the fuck else? The sky never got blue today. My mother and aunt came to visit Sunday. I took them out to the Marina, and we had lunch at Shanghai Red’s. I had crab enchiladas. We took a little stroll along the boardwalk after, and my mother stepped in gum. “Oh, crap,” she said, “I stepped in gum." She rolled her eyes and turned her palms skyward in a pose of “Why me?” As she did, a seagull shit in her hand. Luckily, my aunt found a Summer’s Eve Feminine Wipe in her purse, so my mother douched her hand. We drove to the Beverly Hills Hotel. We sneaked down to the pool and ordered nine-dollar cocktails, just like we belonged there. My mom wanted to get a pastry for Rochelle, so we stopped at Sweet Lady James and got a fruit tart. We left the tart on the counter overnight, though, and the ants got it. After my mom and aunt left, we watched “Silverado” on TV. The GIP called. He suggested we go get a beer. I wanted to go, but Rochelle didn’t. I told the GIP I wouldn’t go, but Rochelle said I should.