Something Bad Happened
I was sleeping peacefully the next morning when there came a rapping at my chamber door. It was the Insanity Pepper. He had gone beyond five o'clock shadow right on into the next day. His clothes were rumpled and wet. He hadn't brushed his teeth, nor come in any contact with soap that morning judging from the odor. "Zurn, something bad happened."
I knew it. He'd been rolled by whore. She had his wallet. We were going to have to try to pay the Pepper's way all the way back to the states. These were my first thoughts. "What happened?" I asked.
"Come with me. I'll show you."
We left Carlos sleeping and walked across the courtyard to his room. A little waterfall was coming down the red tile stairs. We went up the stairs holding the rail so as not to slip. A lake of water, inches deep, rippled over the floor as we stepped into the room. The sink was pulled off the wall in the bathroom and water was still trickling out of the pipe coming from the hole in the wall. The mirror and wall were covered in chunky glop. A brown-stained towel sat in the corner.
"I was really drunk. When I got back here, I had to take a shit. When I was done, I stood up and turned around to get the toilet paper off the tank, and I fumbled it into the toilet. I didn't know what to do, so I grabbed a towel from the shower and wiped my ass with that." Here he did the Pepper giggle, a high-pitched hee-hee-hee. "I threw the towel into the corner and I started to feel sick, so I went over to the sink, and I puked all over the place." He always had had a gift, shall we say, for projectile vometing. "I started to lose my balance and as I fell, I grabbed the sink, Zurn, and it came right out of the wall. Then I must have passed out because right now when I woke up, I was on my back in the water. Lucky I was on my back, or I might have drowned."
Just then the maid walked in. "Caramba!" she said. She went over to the wall and turned a valve and the water stopped coming from the pipe.
"Dude, give her twenty bucks and tell her your super sorry, and you don't know what happened. Uh, I'll see you later." And I skeedaddled back to my room, leaving the Pepper to sort that one out on his own.
I knew it. He'd been rolled by whore. She had his wallet. We were going to have to try to pay the Pepper's way all the way back to the states. These were my first thoughts. "What happened?" I asked.
"Come with me. I'll show you."
We left Carlos sleeping and walked across the courtyard to his room. A little waterfall was coming down the red tile stairs. We went up the stairs holding the rail so as not to slip. A lake of water, inches deep, rippled over the floor as we stepped into the room. The sink was pulled off the wall in the bathroom and water was still trickling out of the pipe coming from the hole in the wall. The mirror and wall were covered in chunky glop. A brown-stained towel sat in the corner.
"I was really drunk. When I got back here, I had to take a shit. When I was done, I stood up and turned around to get the toilet paper off the tank, and I fumbled it into the toilet. I didn't know what to do, so I grabbed a towel from the shower and wiped my ass with that." Here he did the Pepper giggle, a high-pitched hee-hee-hee. "I threw the towel into the corner and I started to feel sick, so I went over to the sink, and I puked all over the place." He always had had a gift, shall we say, for projectile vometing. "I started to lose my balance and as I fell, I grabbed the sink, Zurn, and it came right out of the wall. Then I must have passed out because right now when I woke up, I was on my back in the water. Lucky I was on my back, or I might have drowned."
Just then the maid walked in. "Caramba!" she said. She went over to the wall and turned a valve and the water stopped coming from the pipe.
"Dude, give her twenty bucks and tell her your super sorry, and you don't know what happened. Uh, I'll see you later." And I skeedaddled back to my room, leaving the Pepper to sort that one out on his own.
posted by johnz at 4:35 PM
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