The Guatemalan Insanity Pepper Meets his Hero, Chili Davis

We were already pretty well snockered by the time we got to the Giggling Marlin that night. Or was it Squid Roe? Not entirely sure. By now we'd been south of the border for around ten days and a thousand beers between three of us. I must exaggerate. Maybe it was only seven hundred and fifty beers and another sixty margaritas. Anyway, we were drunk when we got to the Giggling Marlin. The place was packed and bouncing. We sat at the bar and the Insanity Pepper, who is a die-hard, off-the- charts, psycho, out-of-control California Angels baseball fan, turns to his left and there is Angel outfielder and all-around stud, Chili Davis, with a hot blond companion on his left. "Oh my Gard, ish Chili Davish," Miguel slurs, and puts his arm around Chili. "Shili, lemme buy you a marga-margarita."
"Uh, That's okay, man, I can buy my own margarita, but thank you."
"Booshit, Chili. I'm buying you and your wife--Wait! That's not your wife.  Your  wife's black, right? I saw her on tv. Ooooh.  Anyway let me buy you and your girlfriend a margarita."  He ordered the   margaritas and told Chili all about Chili's career and all about Chili's big homerun against the Twins that one time, and about all the moves he would make if he were the General Manager of the Angels, and if Chili could just speak to Bavasi about trading so-and-so for so-and-so, then the Angels would win the pennant finally for sure.
The bartender brought the margaritas. "And six tequila shots," Chili Davis said.
"So Shili, where you staying? We should get together tomorrow. I'm gonn rent some jet skish. Where you staying? I wish I could play for the Angels.  I used to have a pretty good pretty good curve ball (He used to get rocked like you were pitching underhand to the '27 Yankees when I played with him in the Sunday leagues)."
"Yeah, you look like you could really play."
The tequila shots came.
"These are for you," Chili told the Insanity Pepper.
"You shudna done that, Shili. I'm buying for you and your wife. Tha's not your wife."
"No, no. Let's see you take those tequila shots. I bet you can't do all six of them right now."
"Booshit, Shili. Watch this." The Pepper slammed all six shots in under a minute.
When I got up to leave, Miguel was hanging on Chili Davis, with his eyes half closed, mumbling. Chili took Miguel's hand off his shoulder and put it on the bar. The he turned around to talk to his lady friend or whoever she was. I went upstairs and moved through the crowded throng of dancers, unable for the life of me to think of anything to say fast enough that might start a conversation with a pretty girl. I was exhausted from partying the night before, and the night before, and the night before and so on, and driving a thousand miles, and getting up early and being on the ocean all day, so I went back to the room and gratefully slept.