Friday November 15
I didn't have this book yesterday so I had to do my three pages in another book. I felt wrong about not doing them; just as Julia Cameron predicted, it's easier to do them than not do them. They critiqued Jim Crack last night. It was largely unsatisfying. I did get a few clues as to how to clean it up. The complaint was that the narrative meandered away from the story too much. I felt like I wasn't given a sophisticated enough reading. They were asking to have it spelled out for them. They didn't want to be challenged.
I'm disgusted with the world. I want to smoke pot. I want to drink wine. I want to stumble around Hollywood. I finished Seize the Day. Wilhelm grieving at a stranger's funeral. In this day and age Wilhelm is dead to the world, or to the world of America, anyway. No car, no money. No home, not a member of society. Fuck society. That's what Jim's all about. How can he drop out? I've got on Mozart "Divertimientos", soothing strings. My head feels better, but my chest is still congested with hatred. I want a drink. I've got to go to my grandparents in Hemet this weekend. I'm going to spend some time with them before they move to Idaho. I wonder if I'll ever see them again. Will I ever go there? I don't care to see my father. He's emblematic of all that fucks with me. I subbed for Ms. Spalla today. I had them write what they would do to make friends with the Indians if they'd just arrived on the Mayflower. I have to submit to the court on Jan. 23. I have a dentist appointment on December fourth. I have nine more community services to do. If I don't get called Monday, I'm going to go to Wilshire Crest El, and that other one on Wilshire and to Los Angeles High, and Leo Politi and Bancroft Junior High to look into subbing or even transferring. The new UCLA Extension catalogs came out. I better only sign up for one class during the winter quarter. When this quarter is through, I'll have to bring my transcripts to Pam so I can go up the payscale. I should have a little extra coming in February for my coordinatorship. I'll start This Side of Paradise for my next novel after I read a couple of short stories and the collection of Los Angeles poetry. It's been foggy out. I saw "The Ghost and the Darness" with Val Kilmer and Michael Douglas. Too Hollywoodized. I'm depressed enough, I just might go up to McDonalds. I need to get a hold of GTE about getting the internet up and running at school. Peter Lee wants a letter of reference. Agurg. What the fuck else? I need a blessing. I need a break, a skosh of happiness. Alger Hiss had never been a spy. McVeigh will be tried in March in Denver next year. Fuck it all save my soul fuck it fuck it save me help.
I didn't have this book yesterday so I had to do my three pages in another book. I felt wrong about not doing them; just as Julia Cameron predicted, it's easier to do them than not do them. They critiqued Jim Crack last night. It was largely unsatisfying. I did get a few clues as to how to clean it up. The complaint was that the narrative meandered away from the story too much. I felt like I wasn't given a sophisticated enough reading. They were asking to have it spelled out for them. They didn't want to be challenged.
I'm disgusted with the world. I want to smoke pot. I want to drink wine. I want to stumble around Hollywood. I finished Seize the Day. Wilhelm grieving at a stranger's funeral. In this day and age Wilhelm is dead to the world, or to the world of America, anyway. No car, no money. No home, not a member of society. Fuck society. That's what Jim's all about. How can he drop out? I've got on Mozart "Divertimientos", soothing strings. My head feels better, but my chest is still congested with hatred. I want a drink. I've got to go to my grandparents in Hemet this weekend. I'm going to spend some time with them before they move to Idaho. I wonder if I'll ever see them again. Will I ever go there? I don't care to see my father. He's emblematic of all that fucks with me. I subbed for Ms. Spalla today. I had them write what they would do to make friends with the Indians if they'd just arrived on the Mayflower. I have to submit to the court on Jan. 23. I have a dentist appointment on December fourth. I have nine more community services to do. If I don't get called Monday, I'm going to go to Wilshire Crest El, and that other one on Wilshire and to Los Angeles High, and Leo Politi and Bancroft Junior High to look into subbing or even transferring. The new UCLA Extension catalogs came out. I better only sign up for one class during the winter quarter. When this quarter is through, I'll have to bring my transcripts to Pam so I can go up the payscale. I should have a little extra coming in February for my coordinatorship. I'll start This Side of Paradise for my next novel after I read a couple of short stories and the collection of Los Angeles poetry. It's been foggy out. I saw "The Ghost and the Darness" with Val Kilmer and Michael Douglas. Too Hollywoodized. I'm depressed enough, I just might go up to McDonalds. I need to get a hold of GTE about getting the internet up and running at school. Peter Lee wants a letter of reference. Agurg. What the fuck else? I need a blessing. I need a break, a skosh of happiness. Alger Hiss had never been a spy. McVeigh will be tried in March in Denver next year. Fuck it all save my soul fuck it fuck it save me help.
posted by johnz at 4:16 PM
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